Dear Customer,

Dear Customer,

I apologize, (not because I’m actually sorry, but because I have to) for asking to see your ID when you were purchasing over 50$ worth of clothing while in my store.  I realize you were in a hurry and that I inconvenienced you but I was just doing my job.  When I stated that I myself was not the one who made up the rules but just the poor sucker who had to enforce them, you seemed to be slightly placated.  That was until I tried to go on. I was going to say I would run it this once without an ID but in the future while shopping at this establishment you would need it, you didn’t give me that chance.  You yelled at me.  You took out your stress on me, you made me feel stupid and ashamed to do my simple job, because it was inconvenient for you.  I’m sorry for doing the job I was hired and paid to do. 

What I am really writing to apologize for is the way our interaction ended.  The panic attack I had after swiping your card was unprofessional and out of character for me.  I don’t usually have a melt down when someone is mad about something that is out of my control.  But you see, this day was stacked against me, for reasons I do not have to explain to you and wont.  Your screams tossed me over the edge and my breath wouldn’t come fast enough… then my breath wouldn’t stay with me… and it also wouldn’t leave my lungs.  I apologize for handing you to my assistant as I ran into the back room to cry on the floor, forcing my breath in and out of my lungs when it seemed impossible.

I was truly ashamed I had lost control of myself, that I could not hold myself together while you let out your frustrations on me. 

Embarrassed is the word that comes to mind when I think of that day.

BUT after today I wont be thinking of that day the same way. 

You came back into the store and asked that same associate if I was there, not to check on me, not to show empathy but because you wanted to see if you could get me to cry again.  Did you enjoy the rush you got from being a bully?  Did it make you feel better about your life, your situation, your self-worth? 

I am not your punching bag.

FUCK OFF!

I am not your right to a good time, I am a human being! I am worth more than this! I am not going to be objectified to this inhumane act of hostility from anyone, let alone a woman who will never have the empathy to see past her own shoes.

I hope your life is full, full of moments that give you the chance to change.  To choose to be a better person in that moment, better than you were to me. 

I hope someday you find that part of the human experience that urges you to better yourself by helping someone instead of persecuting the weak for your own enjoyment. 

I hope for your future.

-The girl who cried

Update... The real one

I'm still slain it over at Torrid...

This is one of the stores I had the provelege of running this last year.  Tanger at Westgate!

Im in love with this picture because I look fabulous but also... Because my team!  We worked so well together and I miss them everyday! 

My new team at Arrowhead is freaking awesome tho! 

I love my new store!! It's pretty much a copy of all the things I loved about my New Mexico store but with upgrades and fixes to everything I didn't like!!! Can I get a hallelujah?!?!?!

We have a lot of work in front of us but I plan to be in the top ten stores by the end of the year... Done and done!!!

It is by far the most challenging store I've worked in and a stress that's for sure.  When I'm not working I'm day dreaming of all the things I could be finishing if I was working.  My job is never done and there never seems to be a moment of peace.  But this is what I asked for.... 

When I was a part time assistant I had the chance to work a Saturday at Arrowhead and I lost my shit. It was busy beyond belief and I saw the challenge that it was and could be for me.  I've watched arrowhead for years, from afar and wondered what I could do with it.  It's had some rocky times in the past few years but still remains the top volume store in the state and on the top 20 in the company.  I could see things from the outside and think about all I would like the change or implement but now that I'm here, I realize that I was a pompous shit head. I shouldn't have been criticizing the management or the way the store was run... Dear lord they were doing the best they could and I see that now first hand.

But, Because I watched the store and studied it I feel more capable of taking it to the next level.  I gave myself a year to get the store where it needs to be and where I want it to be.

Two months down...

Right track

A year ago I thought about joining weight watchers... But I didn't.

I wish I had.

I joined shortly after my birthday in January. (I'm getting older crisis, Such a white girl thing to do...)

And today I am happy!!!

25 pounds down and a full size in my jeans!!!

I'm feeling fantastic! 

And it's just the beginning! 

Size is just a number but I'm glad that number is getting smaller.  

If you ever need some encouragement on your own journey... Hit me up! Encouraging someone else helps me to keep on track! And announcing this to the world helps me stay true to the course! 

-M

You have got to be kidney-ing me!?!?!?!

This is my first post in over a year... You might be thinking... What's gotten in to her? (And that's kind of the point) you don't know and I'm really bad a writing letters and calling people.  Anti-social with a Conscience...

This week I had my first adult sickness.

A kidney stone

And I hated it

If you have never had the pleasure... Keep doing what you're doing and never stop... If you have had the displeasure... I'm SO Sorry! (Seriously!!!)

I spent the week in pain, vomiting because of it on several occasions.. And hopped up on pain killers, anti-nausea meds, and of course a cocktail of antibiotics. (That started with a shot in my butt!) 

Being an adult isn't all it's cracked up to be...

Also not having kidney stones.... This is Sooo not the romantic comedy I signed up for!

-M

 

Ironic much

My first car payment is due on my 25th birthday... The deadline I made for myself to become a active adult.  By my 25th I wanted to have made a change... Well I can cross that goal off! Now what to do before I turn 26????

-M

stuck in the middle... by myself

its strange to think that a week ago i was at work early and feverishly trying to finsih any and everything up before hitting the road for a last minute road trip home.  i was so excited to see my family and friends.  its sobering to think about how much i have missed them the last six months.  

Being home was everything i wanted

i made my mother cry, friends freak out and i got to spend time with Payton.

But as the second day set it i was thinking of my life in ABQ and all i needed to do and concentrate on for the new year.  i went out with a friend which i miss dearly and expressed my need to get back to my life. "i can't wait to go home"  it was an odd sentence because for the first time i really thought of ABQ as my home.  i live here and i actually love it.  its everything i wanted and a lot of things i didn't know i wanted  

i always considered ABQ as a temporary stop on my way to a better life, not expecting to fall in love with my store, my team and my amazing customers.

I still consider the future as open to possibilities.  There are stores all over the United States and i could be sent anywhere.  i love the thought of up rooting and being sent somewhere unknown.  ABQ was once unknown and unthought of but now... it's home!   The possibilities for the future are completely ENDLESS!!  An enticing and enthralling thought!

BUT the truth still stand

i miss my people.  i miss the family dinners and awkward moments with my best friends.

I miss things that aren't real.  things i think I'm missing but really I'm sure I'm just over thinking things.

i have a tendency to let my imagination get the better of me. 

i am still looking forward to my trip home at the beginning of February.  i want to make the most of my time with my family.  they are really to good to me and i am extremely blessed!

-M

Go green

I have only had the opertunity to vote for the president of the United States once...due to my age of course...the presidential election was held right before my 18th birthday. Many of my piers were excited to finally be able to vote but many didn't really see a reason to vote.  Feeling that their one vote wouldn't make a difference in the long run. I was caught in the middle...excited to be able to and unsure if I wanted to.

I have been reading a lot of books about presidence, as fathers, sons, and real men who have the fate of a nation in their hands.  I read about Ab Lincoln and choices and beilfs he had to make and had that shapped our country. How different it is today to the founding fathers. 

I came to the conclusion that I want our next president to be a farmer. 

Not a corporate grower of food for a nation but a small time farmer that has felt the pressure, stress, and pain of sustaining his family with his hard work alone.  

A small farmer understands that land is precious. Our world needs to be nourished and so do our children.  He understands that you can not use things you don't have.  If you didn't grow the corn you won't be eating corn.  If you kill the cow the daily milk will stop, yes you get a steak but was the one time payout worth the reuse able resource? Don't use it all if you don't have something to replace it. 

He understands that waste is unexceptable.  We can't afford to waste resources, time, or energy.

He knows that you can't lend a hand to others if your own land is suffering. you need to nourish your own crop,harvest them and store them for winter, you can't offer to do it for your navigators first or somewhere in the middle.  

  

I feel this is something we have lost.  Although our president was not born with a golden pacifier in his mouth, he was also not born starving or grew up waiting to fail. He was privileged as most of our more recent presidences. They don't understand the hard work only your hands and nature can bring. 

Our country is in dept because it couldn't sustain itself and asked for help.  I have never found fault in asking for help but truthfully we have taken it into extremes.  Our country will never crawl out of dept at the rate we are going. 

We promise each other things we can not and will not be able to give. Healthcare is a glories idea... One that should have been put into effect a century ago.  I'm not sure we can reallly pull it off now.

We have our solders in our neighbors yards helping them tend to their fields while ours wither and die. We have more crime, and poverty in out country than people want to acknowledge, while those who are the strongest among us are sent away in our greatest hour of need.  

Farmer for president...

That's all I have... 

From the mind of a 24 year old.

-M

Big girl pants

Today I went to Lowes home improvement store by myself.

I walked in with my head held high and directed myself toward the isle I needed with out stopping to ask directions. I then located the plumbing item I needed to purchase and then went home and installed it so my toilet would stop leaking!

LIKE A BOSS!!!!

 Thank you daddy for making me learn to do things on my own... Girl power is pretty powerful! 

-M

(I'm not saying I don't want a man but at the moment I sure as heck don't "need" one!!) (and that Feels good!!)

Mail men

I have never considered the mail man to have a glamorous job. 

It seems like an extreamly hard job that wouldn't bring much gratification at the end of the day. 

BUT as a recently new lover of snail mail I have decided I love mail men! They bring me tiny gifts from friends and family.  Words of comfort, joy or gossip. 

Yes I could get all of these things over the phone or via email...or heaven forbid Facebook. Bit receiving mail is seriously joyful. I love it. 

Thank you mail men everywhere for bringing such joy!! It's so fun to go get the mail and it wouldn't be possible without you!

-M

P.S. This year I implore you to thank your mail man!  This is their busy season and having a greatfull customer might just make his or her day! 

P.P.P.S. Be kind!  Those men and woman are not there for you to yell at! They didn't get up this morning womdering If today would be the day they could single handedly ruin your life. You get to choose how you react! And remember the lines are long and there will be a wait... Get over it! Tis's the season! 

;)

Black list Friday

Dear shopper,

I want to thank you for shopping. My job is to sell things to you and without you I wouldn't have a job. I am sincerely greatfull to those who chose to shop on Black Friday. Many of you who didn't,  chose not to as a protest. I understand why you wanted to forgo a good sale to stand up for what you believe in. Thanksgiving was made as a day of rest to ponder and show thanks for the things we are truely grateful for. In recent years it's become less of a holiday for those who work in my industry. We thank you for caring for us and for standing up for us. This year many stores opened at 8pm and even earlier. I fear in coming years we won't close stores at all on thanksgiving but it's my reality and one I have come to not just understand but except. I know I have to work holidays and work in a extremely glamour-less industry. But I truely love what I do. 

Personally this thanksgiving was the hardest I have ever endured but not because I had to go to work. I don't live near my family and for the first time in my life I wasn't with them for the holiday. It was actually a relief to know that I could drowned my sorrows in work instead of thinking of the things I'm missing. 

I looked forward to the busiest day of the year with glee. 

But as I opened my doors on thanksgiving as I was directed by my company and the establishment we rent a space from I was not greeted by tons of shoppers. I was greeted by open air. A few people trickled in but after standing around for hours i decided to close our doors for a few hours because no one was shopping. I wanted Black Friday to be worth every moment I wasn't with my family Instead my mind was thinking of what I was missing back home. 

Instead of being to busy to stop for a lunch break I was thinking of my nephew who is 4 and how he might be forgetting me. 

Instead of restocking empty shelves I was realizing I didn't get to see Thor with my dad on Thanksgiving morning. 

Instead of providing excellent customer service I was driving home wondering if any of its worth it. 

Instaed of coming home to sleep for a couple of hours and then hitting it hard again I stayed home because we weren't busy enough for me to be there wasting payroll. I watched some tv and considered calling my family but I didn't want to hear about their amazingly realizing holiday. While I was stressing out because my team and I wouldn't be making our sales goals. 

As a shopper you may not realize that Black Friday isn't just a great deal day. It's a day for retailers to make up lost revenue. We need you to come shopping. We aren't lowering prices because we want to but because we need to to make our year positive. We need a push to finish the year with a bang. Big box stores may not miss you but I'm a little guy comparatively and I need you. I had no choice but to open on thanksgiving Black Friday and I counted on you to make it worth it it me and my team. We had to cut our holiday short and miss our families but this year It wasn't worth it. 

You might be thinking that next year stores will go back to opening at midnight but as a girl on the front lines of retail I don't think so.  Black Friday is about being the first one open because the sales are the same no matter where you go. That huge tv you want is at 5 different stores for the same price. The one that opens first will get your business. That's pure logic. Us little guys may be the last on your shopping list but we are grateful to be on your list. 

Again thank you to those that shopped! You made my day better because you made it worth it...

 

-M